FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

De-motivation - Top Tips!

Press Release Dated: 11 Feb, 2009 --

1. Hire a Director now and claim that you saved five months of salary by putting off the appointment

2. Pay yourself and other board-members your own contracted bonuses in full

3. Ask long-servers with contractual bonuses to roll them back for the good of the business

4. Make several periods of redundancy, bit-by-bit, and keep the suspense going

5. Avoid both eye-contact and walking the shop

6. Get your new lease car as per contract and go for a bright, cheerful colour and special rims too

7. Communicate as a last resort

8. Ignore arguments for a four-day week, just sack more people

9. Do not train, mentor or coach or make any investments in anyone in the front-line

10. Don’t ask and reward employees for cost-effectiveness plans but do keep all the lights burning.

Aren’t they exceptional? Actually, no. No wonder we forecast long and deep in the UK!